Ambivalence - Hands-on or hands off flower design?

A friend saved Stemming the cost of wedding flowers (from The Boston Globe, March 26) for me. I have to admit I read it with mixed feelings. First, I am inspired brides and their friends are plunging into the fray to learn how to make bouquets, corsages, and centerpieces. It speaks to the renewal of the hands-on movement sparked by the world's economic gyrations. We all need to think and act differently - to start growing our own veggies, to shop with an eye to local, seasonal flowers as well as food, and to find our own way through the apparent downfall of much of corporate America. But brides designing their wedding flowers on the "day of" just strikes me as a bit precarious.

In the five years since I started Flourish, brides have repeatedly told me (with a mixture of shock and awe in their voices) my prices are reasonable. I didn't mean it that way! I am working for a living, after all. But it seems most flower designers simply charge a lot more. There are good reasons, too, that go beyond the price of blooms. A lot of time, thought, and mileage go into flower shopping, preparation, design, delivery and setup. Add to that the notion that the wedding industry seemed to be on an endlessly spiraling stairway to heaven - not so many years ago, The New York Times reported that the average wedding cost well over $100,000 - and of course it made sense to ride on up the escalator.

When I price out a wedding flower proposal (with everything itemized so a couple can see where their money goes and pick and choose how they want to spend it), I make sure I feel amply rewarded for my work. At the same time, I like to think couples may be getting a (slight) benefit (because I know how the cost goes zinging up for no apparent reason) and with luck having a good time. I know their day will be beautiful, full of fresh flowers imaginatively designed, that the service I offer is uniquely personal and impeccable, and that at the end of that glorious day, they will be well-pleased.

So, yes, I write with a divided heart. Of course I want to democratize the world of flower design. Of courses it's great brides and their friends are learning to shop for flowers, prep, and design them. I'm happy people are applying their hands and brains to this ancient art. What could be more satisfying than designing the flowers for your wedding day? At the same time, I'm feeling a thread of trepidation, and a degree of pride and what to call it? Snobbery? Ownership? It has taken me quite a few years to gain the skills of this particular trade, and I'm still learning. Successful flower design takes time and trial - flowers are high maintenance creatures: fickle, fussy, and fragile. You have to treat them with care, and learn their ways. If a bride can do that, as well as tend to all the details of her day, terrific! If not, please, I'd love to help you out!